Bittersweet Delights
by Sins of Angels
Summary: Perquel to Joyful Sadness, This follows James and Lily around during that rough sixth year, the year that Lily grows to slightly tolerate him and James gets a major revelation as to what he needs to do to get her. Enjoy.
1. Just Another Fight

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

* * *

Sins of Angels: This is Lily and James in their sixth year, a prequel to "Joyful Sadness". Please review and let me know if I made a huge mistake or if I'm doing okay with the story. It'll be greatly appreciated! Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 1 – Just Another Fight 

James walked up to the platform, grinning. He was going to get her. This would be the year they fall in love. He could feel it was close.

After all, it had shaped up to be a lucky summer. Sirius had moved in, Peter had finally gotten all his summer work done before the ride to Hogwarts, and Remus seemed to be really happy.

What could go wrong?

The answer to that question popped up instantly in all her beauty as Lily Evans passed through the barrier and emerged on the platform. She forced her trolley to turn with what seemed like great difficulty, and set off towards the nearest door on the train. James ran up to her just as she was getting ready to lift her trunk.

"So, Evans, had a good summer?" he asked in what he hoped was a casual way. He could feel his skin burning as she turned her pretty, enchanting eyes on him. She realized who it was and went back down to her luggage, lifting the cage with her owl first and setting it next to the door. After a while, James felt compelled to say something. "Are you going to answer me?" he asked stupidly, then kicked himself mentally for it. However, Lily straightened up and looked at him again, sweeping her fiery red hair out of her eyes.

"Sure, Potter. If you promise to go away afterwards."

James couldn't help himself. "Go away? And deny you the honor of my presence?"

Lily snorted disgustedly at him as she maneuvered her trunk off of the trolley. "Honor? You're another year older, Potter, yet your brain just doesn't seem to age. Scientists would have a field day if they ever managed to get past all that ego and pry open your head."

"Scientismsts? What are those?" James said, frowning. Lily ignored him as she carefully dragged her trunk up the steps.

"Shut up and leave me alone, Potter. I'd rather not deal with you first thing in the morning, you know?"

James frowned. This wasn't how it's supposed to go! "Let me help you with that," he said, grabbing a handle of her trunk. Lily's head shot up.

"No!" she said menacingly. James let go.

"Why not?"

"Because the day I need your help, Potter, is the day that pigs fly!"

James made a show of looking out the window. "You know, that bird looks really heavy."

Lily glared at him. "Shut up," she said sharply. "Look, why don't we just cut this short, shall we? Go on, ask me to go out with you."

James turned to her, looking hurt. "Why, Evans, do you really think that's why I came to talk to you today?"

Lily faltered. Her words died in her mouth as she wondered if he took what she said by the lake last year to heart. He grinned. "You know, for a very brief moment there, I actually thought you might have improved," she said, sighing.

As she pulled her trunk into a compartment, James walked in and lazily sat down, putting his hands behind his head. "Lily Evans, what about me do you want me to improve on?" he asked, first seriously, and then his signature devilish grin came on his face. Lily frowned at him sitting there, in her compartment, acting like he's the best thing to happen to the world since the wheel.

"Start with removing that horrible grin, Potter," she said distractedly, trying to get herself situated. To her amazement, he stopped grinning. He continued on in a tone she'd never heard before.

"Evans, can I ask you something?" he said so sadly that Lily found herself nodding before she realized it. "Why do you treat me like this? You always see the best in everyone and anything; always notice the beauty in their faults. Why do you seem so blind to the good things I do?"

"Because," she began, trying to think of what she would say. She'd never seen him like this, never this sad or, or broken. She knew he liked her-everyone knew he liked her. But still, there was just something holding her back.

_But he doesn't like me. He just likes the chase, the fact that I'm the one who keeps him on his toes. I'm like a damn puzzle to him, one he just wants to solve, parade around for a while, and then throw out for the next puzzle._

So, instead of saying about how she did notice that he had nice things about him and that she just wished he wouldn't act like such a git around her, she settled for a usual, expected response. "Because I have yet to see anything good in your, Potter."

This did not receive the reaction she was hoping for. Instead of him laughing it off, or walking out, or even shouting, he just leaned back and exhaled deeply. He then leaned forward and asked the one thing she hoped he wouldn't. "So you can't find anything good about me at all? I'm an all around bastard git, is that it?"

Lily could only nod slightly. Outside the whistle blew as a warning. "What about your trunk, Potter?" she asked, in the hope that he would leave.

"Sirius has it with him," James said, shrugging. "You're avoiding my question," he reminded her, unnecessarily.

"Look, what did you expect? Whenever you notice me within a mile of you, you ruffle your stupid hair and go find something you think is cool to do with your friends. And that thing usually end up to be laughter only at someone else's expense, never your own."

"Never my own, Evans? I think you've made a fair fool out of me quite a few times, don't you?" James said angrily. This wasn't supposed to go like this! They weren't supposed to start yelling at each other again and leave fuming! But it was too late. Her pretty green eyes flashed the slightest amount of anger, only noticeable if you were looking.

Those eyes. They had captivated him, ever since he first saw her. She had been dragging what looked like her parents and a little boy James could only assume was her brother all over Diagon Alley before their first year. He and Sirius had been coming out of the Quidditch supply store when she had glued herself to the window and pointed at the Cleansweep, muttering about it being a real flying broom and how witches, like her, could use it. Sirius had laughed until they got to the ice cream shop, but James had something else in mind. Even at eleven, he felt a sudden desire to become friends with this strange girl, who had flaming red hair and emerald eyes. Years later, her eyes were just as beautiful, her hair just as fierce, and his desire to be friends with her just as desperate.

Her voice brought him back. "Me? I've made a fool of you, Potter? How? Pray tell, I'll need to do it again."

"Like by the lake last year!"

Lily scoffed. "Oh, please, I didn't make a fool out of you! You did it all by yourself! All I did was say the truth, and if it's foolish then the problem isn't with me, it's with you!"

"So I've got problems now?"

"Yes! Problems! Lots of them!"

James stood up in anger. "Well, I think I've had just about enough of this! I'll be taking my problems and leaving, thank you!"

"Fine by me!" Lily yelled and sat down, taking a book out of her bag. James went out and slammed the door as he closed it.

And so it ended, just another fight between her and the infamous Potter. With any luck he'd keep away until the end of the trip, at least.

She jumped up and remembered her Prefect duties, then bustled out of the compartment. Five minutes later, it was invaded by four boys, one of which also left for the same place as Lily. The one with black hair that stuck up at odd angles sat down in the seat she had just left and ran gentle fingers down the front of a book, warmed by the recent touch. He then shoved it in a bag that didn't belong to him and sat back, joining the conversation.


	2. Confusing Confessions

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: Thanks to reviewers! I regret that I don't have time to comment on each one individually unless you bluntly ask me a question. Sorry. You guys are the best! Anyway, just to clear something up, sentences in italics are thoughts of a character, and should be pretty easy to figure out which character they belong to. Please let me know if you are confused, I'll try to format it differently. And please review and let me know if you like it or hate it or what I can improve on. Greatly appreciated, and it makes me happy! Enjoy.

Chapter 2 – Confusing Confessions

"Lily!" Remus called as she left the Prefects' carriage. She turned around and smiled at him.

"Hello Remus. How was your summer?"

He caught up to her and walked along, shrugging. "Well, I really can't complain, I suppose. Nothing bad happened and nothing great was kept from happening. All in all, a good summer, I thought."

Lily nodded. She smiled at him again, to which he just averted his eyes and grinned. He'd taken to doing that sometimes when they had to patrol the halls together.

"You look really pretty," he said quietly. She blushed.

"Thank you," she responded. She wanted to say something nice back, but she couldn't put it into words. He'd always been attractive, no doubt about that. Both physically and intellectually. Spending so much time with him last year had rubbed off on her. She liked talking to him now, loved to discuss magical theories as well as Muggle sciences, something he found extremely interesting, like her. He looked at her again, a definite pink tint to his cheeks. Lily suddenly felt hers burning, felt the embarrassment that came with her lack of response.

"Not that you don't usually look pretty," he said hurriedly, turning redder. "I mean, you always look pretty and all but today there's something different and you look pretty again but in a different way," he rambled on, blurring the sentences. His face was getting redder by the minute. "And you looked pretty last year too, and before that, come to think of it, every year I've known you. Um, Lily, sorry if I'm, you know, out of line or anything."

Lily stared at him, her cheeks turning a brilliant strawberry red. "You're not," she said quietly. Remus smiled at her.

"It's just, I've gotten to know you, you know? I see what an amazing person you are, and smart, beautiful, I understand why James has always liked you, why he keeps trying."

Lily blushed again. Remus smiled and looked ahead.

"Merlin, I wish I wasn't such a coward," he said simply, still looking at the hallway. "I just wish I could bring myself to do it. There's nothing I'd like more than to be able to ask you out, Lily Evans."

Lily's heart jumped to her throat. "What?" she said, taken aback. "I mean," she added, blushing, "why can't you?"

Remus looked at her, astonished. "Why? Lily, my best friend is head-over-heels, in way over his head! And I don't blame him one bit. At all. You're an amazing woman, Lily Evans. And James has known this for so long, tried for so long, I…I can't take that away from him. You deserve each other, and I mean this in a nice way. You deserve someone better than me, someone who really loves you, Lily. James is that person. It might not be as obvious to you as it is to me, but he really cares for you."

Lily just stared, taking it in, but not wanting to hear it. Once again, James Potter has gotten in the way of her having a boyfriend, of her being in any relationship other than with him.

"You make him so nervous, it's rather amusing. He's never as shaken by anyone as he is by you. For how smart you are, Lily, you seem so blind to everything he does."

"Blind to everything he does?" Lily said, regaining her voice. "Remus, he's always so annoying, so arrogant around me. I'm not blind to what he does at all. And worse still, he has every boy scared of asking me out!"

Remus laughed. "You think I'm scared, Lily? Well, you're part right. I'm terrified. But not of James, oh no. I'm terrified that I'll grow to like you even more, begin to love you. Because, Lily, we will never last. It's only a matter of time before you realize just how much you and James need each other. Perhaps the only person who refuses to see it more than you do is Sirius. Lily, you really are too great a friend for me to do that to you."

Lily sighed. So that's how it will be. "For the record, I would have said yes."

Remus turned to her, staring in amazement. "You never cease to surprise me, Lily. May I ask why?"

"Why not, Remus? We both love the same things, hate the same things. We'd be perfect. Don't tell me that hasn't crossed your mind."

Remus nodded slowly and let out a sigh. "Lily, you don't know how much I want to ask you out," he said sadly. He turned to her. "I won't, though. I can't. I don't want to let my two best friends down."

He stopped in front of their compartment before Lily could see who had invaded it. He smiled sadly again.

"I love you, Lily Evans. Know that, would you. I never want to lose you as a friend, and I regret we couldn't have a shot at something more. It just isn't meant to be." He leaned down and kissed her forehead softly. Then he walked in and left her there, confused, baffled, and thinking. What on Earth had just happened between them?

Whatever it was, lily snapped out of it as James opened the door and looked straight at her, beaming.

"Evans!" he said joyfully. She looked at him, confused, still replaying the last conversation in her head. What had he meant?

_He called me beautiful and smart._

"So, what brings you here?"

_He said he wished he could ask me out. But nothing is really stopping him, is it? Other than that silly notion of his._

"Evans, I'll give you one more chance."

_I don't need Potter. I can't possibly_ _talk to him without him saying something positively ridiculous every minute. I can talk to Remus. He understands._

"I'm offering one last time. Do you want to go out with me?"

_He gave me a kiss, too. It was gentle and on the forehead, not like the ones Potter always wants to give me. But, then again, Remus always has been caring and considerate._

"Don't say anything for five seconds and I'll be kind enough to take it as a yes."

_He said he loved me. _Lily's head snapped up to the grinning James, who was counting. "No," she said coldly and walked in past him. He turned to stare at her as she came to stand in front of Remus, who got up.

"Lily," he started. James suddenly felt a pang of jealousy. Why was he allowed to call her Lily? Why couldn't he ever utter those four letters, her tender and beautiful name, in public without receiving stares? Remus was just as obnoxious as he was, when he wanted to be. _But he knows when to stop._

Remus was level with her. She smiled as he said her name and suddenly gave him a kiss on the cheek. Remus blushed deeply and James's jaw dropped as lily turned and picked up her books, walking right past him without so much as a second glance. Remus turned to James, his dazed look fading in light of his best friend's fury. James turned around promptly and shut the door before Remus began to speak. He looked at the end of the hallway just as a head of red hair disappeared into the next cart. Without any thought as to what he'd do, he tore after it.


	3. Bumpy Train Ride

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: Sorry it took this long, I've been really really busy. But I have Spring Break now, so I should post again at least once before next week ends. Anyway, Thanks to all reviewers, and, again, sorry to keep you waiting. Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 3 – Bumpy Train Ride 

When James entered the next train car, Lily was nowhere to be seen. He traveled down the corridor, glancing in compartments, but Lily wasn't there. He ran into the next car and the next as well, both times not seeing her.

She was in the bathroom of the first car he came chasing into, a hand on her mouth and a silencing charm on the room. Her captor released her. She turned to see none other than-

"Snape?" she asked, unbelieving. He flinched a bit and nodded. She looked around. "Um, what are you doing?"

Snape sighed. Well, he had to do it. She was here, and so was he, he had to now. "Um, I wanted to…to apologize."

She stopped her looking around. "What?"

"Apologize. For that…the thing I called you last year."

Lily looked at him, doubt in her eyes. "What?" she repeated, this time slower.

"I'm…sorry, Evans, you were only trying to help, I guess."

Lily stared at him. "You're serious, aren't you?"

Snape nodded. It was around now she noticed that his hair wasn't greasy at all. It fell on his face as Sirius's does, providing just the right touch. His nose wasn't as prominent as he swept the noticeably soft hair from his face. He coughed hurriedly, realizing that his hair was still soft. "Just so long as you know," he said, glanced up at her through his black eyes and opened the door, pushing her out.

As luck would have it, because luck always has it, she landed in the arms of James Potter. The startled boy looked down at her as she pushed herself from him, hitting her back to the door which had not been fully closed yet, and in return fell into the bathroom. Snape, his wand in hand and hair back to normal, caught her from falling completely, his cheeks turning a delicate shade of red, and James Potter stared in awe at the sight in front of him.

"You! Get off of her!" James yelled and sprang forward, wand in his hand.

"Stop it, Potter, he's helping me up!" Lily snapped. James paused as Snape levered Lily to her feet slowly. Snape sneered, rejoicing in the fact that Lily had just scolded him, just scolded James Potter, and he'd listened like a damn dog!

Lily got up and carefully dusted herself off, taking care to stay in between the two boys. James suddenly grabbed her by the arm and pulled her behind him. "Did he hurt you, Evans?" he asked harshly, staring at Snape with hate. "I saw you were in here alone. Did he?"

She was about to answer, about to scold Potter and reveal the truth, but one look at Snape silenced her. "Potter, go away. It is none of your business what I discuss with others. Leave. Now."

James carefully stepped backwards into the hall, his eyes never leaving Snape's face. As he came out, Sirius put a hand on his back to stop him. Lily sighed. This wasn't going well at all.

"Saw you rush out mate, and I came after…well, what do we have here?" Sirius said, looking at Lily, her face a mask of fear, and Snape, his a mask of hate. "Well, I see we're about to get off to an interesting start, aren't we?"

"Back off, Black," Lily said and stepped out of the room, shutting the door. But Snape caught it, sneering.

"I daresay it will get very interesting," the Slytherin said, his black eyes sparkling with a challenge.

Lily looked to James and Sirius. "Leave. Now. Go back to your compartment before I take off points."

At this, Sirius laughed. "Honestly, Evans, don't you know me well enough to realize I don't care about points? Our Quidditch skills more than make up for it."

"I'll confiscate your broom," Lily said threateningly, at which the boy laughed again.

"You can't do that. Now move, Evans, I'd rather not hex you as well."

Lily stood in front of Snape, stretching out her arms, her face determined. Sirius looked at James, who regarded the whole scene uneasily. James sighed, took a look at Lily, and turned to his friend. "Come on, Sirius, let's go," he said quietly to the surprised faces of everyone else.

"What?" Sirius was able to bark. "Let's go? James, it's…it's Snivellus! What's wrong with you?"

"Let's go, Sirius!" James said louder and waited for Sirius to start walking. The two boys glared at each other for a while until Sirius turned with a flourish and left, James following. Lily breathed in again. She jumped as the bathroom door slammed shut behind her.

Looking around, she sighed and realized too late she left her things in the Marauder's compartment. She frowned, and walked back to it, determined to get her things. She stopped outside the just opened door when she heard them screaming.

"James, I can't believe you did that!" Sirius yelled, pacing the compartment. Peter looked to James and Sirius with apprehension as Remus tried desperately to figure out what happened.

"Get over it, Sirius. It was no use to get into trouble this early."

"Don't feed me that, Prongs! You didn't want to do it because she was there!"

"So what? Maybe I didn't want to hurt her!"

"Look, this little obsession with her has to stop, James! She's ruining your life!"

"She's not ruining my life! It's about time we grew up, Sirius!"

"No! No! You do this every damn year, every year James! You can't suddenly start to act mature, it won't happen!"

"Maybe you should try it sometime."

"You're just trying to be like Charles!"

"What's wrong with that? Last I remember you looked up to him just as much as I did!"

"And look what happened to him," Sirius said quietly. James's face turned pale. "Oh, I'm sorry, mate, I didn't mean it," Sirius stumbled hurriedly as James got up. "Look, I didn't mean it, it just slipped out, you know?"

James didn't respond. He opened the door fully and turned right into Lily, who was frozen in fear. He looked at her with surprise.

"What are you doing?" he asked quietly. She gulped.

"My trunk," she stammered just as quietly. He turned around and went into the bathroom at the head of the train car. Sirius rushed out after him but stopped as the door slammed. He turned to see Lily, still frozen in the same place. He advanced on her and grabbed her roughly by her robes.

"Look what you're doing, Evans!" he commended as Lily looked at him, frightened. "There's fear in your eyes, for once. Wizening up, are we? He doesn't deserve this from you! You can't try to make him grow up like this, it won't happen. Stop doing this to him!"

"I…I don't know what you mean," Lily croaked, her scared eyes locked with his fierce ones. "I'm not doing anything to him."

"I swear, Evans, before the end of this year you will get what's coming to you. So will Snape. When you least expect it, it'll come."

Lily trembled as Remus appeared behind Sirius. "Let her down," he commanded.

"Shut up, Moony. You're just as bad as she is."

"You can't stop him, Padfoot," Remus said sadly. Sirius glared at Lily one last time before he let her go, moving past her. "Are you okay?" he asked Lily quietly. She nodded.

"My trunk," she said. Remus let her in and she entered, to be greeted by Peter's stare. It was no where near Sirius's, but it conveyed the same thing. She shifted uncomfortably as she pulled out her trunk and dragged it out to the hallway along with her other things. A young boy ran into the compartment as she was walking out, and she recognized him as Regulus Black. He had the same good looks as his older brother, but his hair was considerably shorter.

"Where's Sirius?" he asked excitedly. Remus shrugged.

"Sit down, Regulus. He'll be back."

Regulus sat next to the door, which he closed. As if a spell had been broken, Lily stopped thinking about what just happened and started to move her trunk. She carefully maneuvered it to rest in between two cars and sat down, taking out her book. She read the rest of the ride, receiving stares from passer-bys. When the whistle sounded, she was first off the train, and had already got one of the smaller carriages, which set off as she sat down. She wondered, not for the first time, what pulled them. However, all thoughts were lost as she pulled up to her second home, Hogwarts castle.


End file.
